The decision to write this book was inspired by family members, friends and acquaintances who have always expressed that I offer a positive or encouraging word

during their times of trouble and confusion.

I'm usually the first point of contact for those who seem to have reached their limit or are clueless as to how to rid themselves of an unnecessary burden.

As I look back over my life, I can say that at this moment I am not where I thought I would be in many aspects but I am grateful to God that I've progressed from where I used to be. My mindset, attitude,

outlook on life has

transformed into a more positive state. I’m no longer one sided to

various issues. I’ve learned to step outside of myself and see things clearly as they are in the moment and not for how they were in the past or how I expect them to be in the future. There are numerous individuals who have played a major role and impacted my life in some way which I must give honor & recognition to at this time:

Children: Trentarius, Willie & Shania

Grandparents: Gracie B.

Mitchell, James Reddics, James Wright, Claude & Carrie Blocker, Mary Tyler

Parents: Lillian Blocker

& James Mitchell Stepfather: Fredric Stringer

Stepmother: Patricia Lawrence

Siblings: James, Lizzest, Lititia, Kelvin, Marquis, Phylicia

Special Aunts/Uncles: Lamar, Jesse, Dan,

Willie, Johnny, Dorothy, Della, Gloria, Ceretha, Phebie

Special Nephew: Marquise Britton

Special Cousins:

Mitchell, McGee, Wright, Hicks, Scott, Yankieway, Seaton, Weathersby,

McKinney, Blocker,

Williams, McCovery,

Haywood, McAllister, Powell

Special Friends: Aaron, Courtney, Chi Chi Dollar, Kenny, Jason, Arteste, Tiffany, Cassandra,

Enazia, Ryan, Tanieca, Terry, Amari, Philmore, Thomas, Kristi, Shayla, Shani, Milton, Lysander, Jackie, Wendi, Pamela, Caulette, Shirley,

Rebecca, Ashley, Annette, Carnesha, Sabrina,

Reggie, Derrick,

Danielle, Dezzie, Jiles Family, Jennings Family, Walls Family, Halk

Family, Cooley Family, Harris Family

Special Teachers: Mr. & Mrs. Wesley, Mr. & Mrs.

Harris, Coach Bradfield, Ms. Sias, Ms. Daniels, Mrs. Killingsworth

TABLE OF CONTENTS…………

SECTION 1 CHANGE

SECTION 2 HAPPINESS

SECTION 3 RELATIONSHIPS

SECTION 4 FAMILY

SECTION 5 MESSAGE TO GUYS

SECTION 6 Q & A

SECTION 7 FRIENDS

SECTION 8 SOCIAL CLUBS

SECTION 9 PARENTING

SECTION 10 MOTIVATION

HARSH

REALITY

INTRODUCTION

In life, we tend to house the misconception that everyone wants better and has the potential to do well. However, the truth of the matter is that some would rather wallow in their own self-pity than to take the

necessary steps towards improving their lives. So many people have grown comfortable with the current standards of living to where it seems normal to them. They’ve learned to function in their dysfunction. With that being said, it

becomes difficult for them to share in your happiness or any

progressions you make.

Rather than viewing your blessing as motivation, they become jealous and bitter. Instead of trying to become more focused on improving themselves, they set out to wreak havoc in your life. This is not to say that they don’t care about you.

They simply haven’t

learned how to remove themselves out of the equation. You display a reflection of what they had hoped to be. It’s not too late to make a change but if all they can do is complain and throw

criticism in your

direction, they’re

wearing the color of envy which is not a good

reflection for anyone.

It’s a sad person who can never be positive or say anything nice about

someone else. This shows selfishness at its worst.

Realistically, people learn more about your character by what you say about others and not by how you brag upon

yourself. Think about it.

It’s very easy to speak highly of ourselves but for some it’s difficult to give honor/praise to someone who has done everything to deserve it.

It’s not like they cut corners or were given a free ride. They put in hard work and were

determined to accomplish the goals set before them. Someone who’s

always negative has very little self-love and is more than likely

harboring grudges from past offenses,

experiences, or hurts.

Well hurt is a part of life which comes with no guarantees. At birth we weren’t given a roadmap that highlighted

dangerous roads, curves, construction ahead,

detours to take. We were however given common sense and the ability to differentiate between right and wrong. Some are so stuck in their past that it hardens their heart from anything

positive. They are simply living but not enjoying life. There comes a time in life when you have to realize that grudges do more harm to you than to the proposed offender. We go out of our way to avoid those we feel have wronged us. We cringe at the mention of their name, refuse to go places where we expect they’ll be present and won’t even show common courtesy if our paths cross. You are only a victim if/when you allow yourself to be. Why give anyone that much control over your

thoughts/actions? The best way to get someone off your mind is to not give them any attention.

On that note, I shall begin by giving a little insight about myself and my inspirations for

writing.

In the beginning, this book was to be about experiences throughout my life and how I overcame them. However, I decided to take another approach and speak on life in general. With topics ranging from employment/

friendship/ relationships and love, there is sure to be something contained within these pages that will hit close to home and put something on your mind.

I’ve never envisioned myself as a writer but take pride in remaining a positive influence in the lives of many. If I have nothing else to offer, my words are genuine and sincere. I’ve been

classified as a

counselor, motivational speaker and therapist.

Many view me as someone who can change people and their situations.

Realistically, none of us have that power over another but they may see something in me that motivates them to do things differently. I set out to change their way of thinking which

ultimately changes their reaction to situations.

Not everything requires a response. Sometimes it’s best to sit back and observe. Silence doesn’t signify that you’re weak, naïve, or clueless. In my opinion, it shows that not everything is worthy of my time. Stressing over others will get you nowhere fast and when you’re dead and gone they will continue to carry on as they were before.

Wanting better for

someone means nothing unless they want it for themselves. I’ve put myself on the front line of battle for numerous people only to have my generosity thrown back in my face. Many have come to me for help with

situations as it pertains to relationships however once the information they received was different from what they had hoped, they were no longer

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Harsh Reality